How to boost your confidence
Photo by Olia Nayda on Unsplash
Have you lost your confidence?
98-99% of my coaching clients admit to having confidence issues. The remaining 2% are either in denial or trying to mask it.
People lose their confidence for all sorts of reasons – redundancy, career blips, difficult bosses, job hunting, midlife crisis, imposter syndrome… the list goes on.
Don’t assume that everyone else has nailed it. Some people are very good at putting on a brave face.
When it comes to your career, it takes more than a slick CV and a well-rehearsed interview to be successful – you need to inspire confidence in others.
First, you need to feel it for yourself.
Confidence is like a muscle that needs to be exercised so let’s get you working and cultivating your inner confidence and self-belief.
Having confidence doesn’t make you a show-off
Let’s get this straight – having confidence doesn’t mean that you're arrogant, a try-hard or a show-off and it doesn’t make you cut-throat or ruthless either.
Confidence is "belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance".
Inner confidence may come naturally to some but it can also be cultivated through practice and self-acceptance of who you are, warts and all.
Are you holding yourself back because you don't feel confident or don’t want to brag?
Ever felt like you’re selling yourself short in an interview because you didn’t want to show off?
Feel the fear and fakery
How do you feel about faking it to make it and feel the fear and do it anyway?
I definitely don’t recommend you show up to an important meeting or interview like an adrenaline junkie.
Instead, get into the habit of appreciating yourself and accepting praise from others.
The Brag File
Everyone needs a brag file for a bad day.
It’s a folder that you keep on your desktop or in your email account where you store the good vibes and thank you messages you’ve received from others.
Then, when needed, head over to that folder for an instant confidence boost. Works better than coffee or chocolate (that’s for debate).
* If you’ve ever sent me a kind note or written a testimonial I really do appreciate it and it’s in my brag file.
The Gratitude List
This is a powerful daily practice but do you dare to follow my tip with a twist?
On your gratitude list include all the good stuff but add everything that’s challenging you right now as well. It’s all here to teach you something, right? I’ve been testing this one out and I suggest you try it out too.
Radical self-acceptance
Not having a job can be very difficult. It’s not just the fact that you’re unemployed, you may feel like you’ve lost your status and credibility without that job title.
After many years on the corporate ladder as a company person, it can feel stressful, even lonely, out on your own. In fact, the very act of putting your own needs first can feel alien.
And even when you have a job, being unhappy at work is soul-destroying.
Self-doubt kicks in when you most need self-confidence.
This is when you need to practise radical self-acceptance and develop a bounce-back strategy. I know it’s tough but there is usually a silver lining waiting to be discovered.
“There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Give yourself a break
Give yourself a break, fortify and nurture yourself, exercise, walk the dog, read, eat well, breathe well, sleep well.
Give yourself a confidence boost
Write a list of 20 reasons why people enjoy working with you and what makes you good at what you do. Then, read it daily.
In the spirit of practising what I preach, here's my list:
I'm really good at what I do
I care about people and want them to feel good
I help people and always go above and beyond
I'm generous and kind-hearted
I'm professional and friendly
I'm inclusive – people feel included and welcome
I'm honest
I never pay lip service
I'm trustworthy, confidential & non-judgemental
I allow people to be themselves - come as you are
I'm ahead of the game and can spot a winner
I have a multi-disciplinary approach
I'm sensitive and intuitive to what is needed
I personalise and tailor for each individual
I've got breadth and depth of experience so I give everyone a unique remedy and solution
I've designed services that are drenched in experience
I'm not a textbook or cookie-cutter coach
I'm a sector expert – I know the lingo, the personalities, the companies, the expectations
I have high integrity, high standards & high expectations
I'm not a boring old fart
Over to you
I hope these suggestions help you to go out into the world with confidence again.
Don’t expect overnight results but do make the commitment to small steps and daily habits.
I’d love to hear how you get on!
About me
I’m Tracy, Career Consultant, former Executive Headhunter and I help senior executives and leaders to land great jobs and be successful at work through 1:1 coaching.
I work with clients around the world from my London-based Zoom office.
If you’re ready for straight-talk and career guidance get in touch – let's start the conversation.
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